late bloomers

i think i represent the peter pan element in all generations. there are many of us. and we are generally smiled upon from on high by those who have escaped never never land and found the path that leads them toward fulfillment.

Was peter fulfilled? He had an enemy, his crew, a fairy mistress and he was a prince with no king in a land of eternal adventure. There was no reason for Peter to grow up. He was a prince, much more than a mere man, and he was exultant and impetuous, yet reasoned enough to provide for his and keep the pirates at bay.

We will not mention the freak invasion of humanity into his world and the consequences — let us just remember that Peter was pleased with himself and loved by his people for many eons, before mortality stole him away.

Although my choices were supposedly made long ago, it annoys me to realize that each day is a new and clean slate to make choices that radically change life and ultimately, memories are ours to do with as we wish. Old choices are playthings for our imagination, with no mooring in reality, but that which we give them. Choice rejoices, sending her people door to door, daily, flooding my mailbox with brochures and coupons.

So i find myself under siege, a soft siege, like monks with rose petals. This siege never breaks. The besiegers have no standard. It flutters for each wind, rises anew and mysterious with each sun. Perhaps my greatest mistake is to actually place put defenders on the walls. If i notice the monks, well then I am noticing the monks and something must be done about these monks! and their roses? where should they go?

Those that smile down upon me offer cohorts of ridalin, like US military and UN mercenary peacekeepers and the carpetbaggers that follow them. I naturally refuse. This is a domestic affair and I will tolerate no infringement upon my sovereignty. Besides, I have my own mercenaries that I employ.

I have only one true weapon. An electromagnetic pulse that eases the pressure for a moment, until the fluid builds up and i have to pop my knuckles again. It has taken me so long to develop this weapon. It is even now in its infancy and the scientists are unsure of themselves, checking and re-checking, seeking the advice of foreign experts who have developed the technology on their own — to the eternal chagrin of the pols that sit in the back of my mind, runnin shit.

I bloom late like China, which has bloomed before.

How many times did peter escape back to never never land? after a tedious sojourn into a world with gravity but no Hook, smog but no fairies.

I refuse their mercenaries and i stubbornly persist in my belief in pirates (i’ve seen em) and fairies (i’ve chased em)!

Sascha Matuszak
Sascha Matuszak

One thought on “late bloomers

  1. I have peter pan in me too. i believe everyone does. in the never never land, u see things ideally perfectly in your own way.

    However, as an ordinary person who has to deal with bullshit all the time. i wish i’ve seen enough of the world so that i can see through things clearly and do things wisely someday.

    By the way, love your blog. Have to open a dictionary software in another window everytime i read it though ..;)

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