last night i spent most of my time dreaming i was a stand up comedian. the audience was overwhelmingly black and i was in georgia. towards the end of the show i started overheating and sweating and i grabbed a hand drum and started playing, i then started freestyler preach-singing … i think i also told them a story of how i recited the i have a dream speech for my chinese students back in 2000. the song kind of took hold of me, i was talking about a woman that i know, and all of a sudden i was in a trance and singing like i had never sung before and all i could see was red earth everywhere. i ended the song with a line from c-loo .. “there is no me if there is no you ..” the crowd was touched by the presence of god and i had a vision of mlk’s last sermon, where he preached the devil out of himself and collapsed.
i then switched to a dream of barack obama .. he was in chengdu on a tour and i had organized a basketball game .. his crew vs. mine and i walked up to him and shook his hand and said you are the leader of the free world, but i am going to take you to the hole. he smiled and said something like thank you for organizing this and making it all possible.. then he looked me in the eye and said low enough for his crew and me to hear i am gonna drop one in your eye. throughout all these dreams a cold voice told me i shouldn’t be dreaming these things cuz i am a white boy and will never understand.

but i tell you what, i believe black people are the instrument for humanity’s renewal … suppression of soul is a human condition, manifesting in reality as the black rose, thrown down upon concrete america and ordered to grow. i had another dream, one that started after i woke up and went back to sleep. this one i took dmt and tripped out and followed the light till all became dark and a voice said do you want to go back, because i did. i was really scared in the dream and felt that i could not leave my people like that. could not go out on a drug overdose. so i said yes i still have work to do, cuz i figured that would be the right thing to say. and when i came back i woke up and around me where fairies and little people, the adults maybe as big as a hamster and the children tiny like bees. they were so cute and i laughed and laughed and they were so worried about me and had gathered around. also around me were three friends. they asked me who i was looking at and i told one of the fairies to go say hi to zhuang and she did, becoming a butterfly on his cheek. i asked him hey man do you feel that and he smiled and said in english, yeah i feel it. my other friend was covered in tiny little people all scrambling over him and hanging off of him. they appeared tro him as flies, that he swatted. i said man you are covered in them dude. the third friend, a girl, changed the entire dream, she turned the whole hillside we were sitting on into a butterfly convention and the dream kind of spiraled out of control with huge butterflies and fairy women with bug eyes hovering everywhere and one of them clawed out my left eye.

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Sascha Matuszak

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