Another Son

Two boys now, depending on me to show them the way. For at least half their lives willingly and then for another 1/4 or so even though they resent it (at least that’s the pattern right?) and then later in life as a friend.

This time I was able to witness the birth first hand. It was bloody and painful and borderline. The first one, Dorian, I saw minutes after he was born and I remember looking at him screaming and I thought: this thing has been warped into our plane of existence from another reality. Those weren’t the exact words, but until i can send my memory of those thoughts out into the ether and have you all feel it and nod, then words are all that I have.

This second one, I noticed mommy much more. Her pain. The blood. Instead of being ripped from another world, like his older brother, this one was ripped from his mother’s flesh. I believe in the strength of mental projections: a Thought is Real. But still things move according to another plan. We all thought he was going to be a girl that took after me. Now we have a boy that might have some of my facial features, but he also has Asian hair and Asian eyes: thick and black.

He has what the Chinese call a Mongolian Spot. Western medicine considers the spots to be anthropologically insignificant and basically harmless. Chinese consider the spot to be something left over from the Mongols and a characteristic that is found in Asians only. East Asian, Native Americans, Pacific Islanders and East Africans all have a 80-95% chance of having this spot.

Interestingly enough, the older one did not have one, but the younger one does. Genes … So does this mean the younger is “more Asian”? interesting stuff to think about when you hold a little one and watch him mouth the air, open and close his lil hands and kick out at the blanket he’s wrapped in.

I think my family is complete for now, but incomplete in that the future is utterly opaque.

When the older one saw the little one, the first thing he did was walk up and plant a kiss on his face, point at the lil one’s nose and then point at his own nose. Words like, He is my brother, might be adequate to describe what we saw in his eyes. Check a few pics below:

Picture of Sascha Matuszak
Sascha Matuszak

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