My man told me earlier i the week that he would never marry a Chinese girl, even though he has been here for several years and chases them down like the bunnies they are.
I remember thinking the same thing for a while, but it only hit home when .. i went home (or Portland). After chilling with american girls, i realized that here in China we purposely slim our brains down, chop our personalities in half and become lesser men in the pursuit of sex. its like going back to high school with these girls. I guess i always knew that, but it never seemed so blatant and front and center.
It also has a lot to do with who I am hanging out with. My man Zhuang once told me that all of the good girls (good being intelligent, charismatic, ambitious, cool, etc) would never date a foreigner.
So i see a vicious cycle here and if you enjoy lotsa random sex with no commitments, then china is heaven. but i have been infected by the brains of Lacey and Mika and Nico and Susan and so on and now i can’t have this. I get really fed up with the bullshit these chinese girls (well my man’s girls here in Shanghai) try to pull.
I find it moronic and repulsive. And i am most angry not at what they do, but at what I made myself do and become while I was here. Its a sick mindset. Beanmilk helped me turn the tide of shallowness while i was in the Du. I suppose we met because it was her job to prepare me for the Return to the US and my job to help her defend herself against the silly behavior of SOME Chinese girls.
But its not the girls, like i said, that make the cycle. Its the combination of silly, but innocent and hopeful young girls & opportunistic and jaded hopeful young men.
Heartbreak is rampant.
I have a reputation to uphold, but I think i’ll be doing it with my words rather than my penis.